να ξέρετε academy (Getting to Know You)
The Infinite Possibilities in Life and Love

Dinner Etiquette 101: (A Whodunnit)?

As customary as they may seem, dinner parties (or investigative gatherings) as many of us gents with wives or gf’s so fondly prefer to recount them as offer many different and sometimes near tragic views into the romance between food and ceremonial sacrifice! Well, upon visiting the in – laws or not quite yet’s interestingly and suspiciously fascinated inquisitors for a meal, many of us have found that dinner was a prelude to the equivelance of an airport scuffle between you and security over that stupid carry – on that just barely kept the compartment from closing…….and, unfortunately the plane from departure!

Before your universe came crumbling down on top of your Royal Doulton, you were convinced that the smart ensemble complete with tie chosen by your ever so witty better half  might keep the waters calm and buy you some distance between cross – examiners. Charismatically avoiding ‘sabotage’ is the scenario best fashioned from proper manners and the smile that won the heart of your lover won’t quite cut the Chateau Briand with this crowd.

  • Don’t oversell! Your signif has already built you up to the folks and you’ll have enough on your plate trying to live up to those expectations…

 

  • Be honest and keep it light! There’s an air of intrigue surrounding things and expressing your feelings about the death penalty is probably inappropriate. (If you have children, show a few pics. If not, keep an open mind! She may want some and better yet, THESE ARE HER PARENTS AND SIBLINGS!

 

  • Eat your food, exclaim how delish the petrified Roast Beef was and request a second helping! Be convincing here. Not only is this a sign of good faith and respect for Ma’s prep , it shows cahoona’s to dear old dad who didn’t finish his first plate.

Before you begin to offer the goods on just about any random topic during dinner, you should keep in mind that the family will have pre-existing expectations. Such as, you will be the polite  and courteous individual that was spoken so highly of and not bring up mom’s hip replacement surgery that, by the way you couldn’t possibly have known about unless you were given the info by the gf; and if that be the case, well then you probably are also well aware that it became necessary after the cause-in-fact… Dad  was a lil too feisty one eve after a couple of Dewar’s and upon breaking in the new Serta with the Mrs., ergo constituted a trip to the ER.

Also, you may want to keep in mind that anything you say can and will be used against you in the family court so be careful as to the sprinkling of embellishments you allocate during after din fanfare. If ya dunno who the guy behind the mask was in ‘The Phantom of the Opera’, don’t make an educated guess. After you’re asked to give a synopsis of the play and you shimmy through it like a 3rd grade book report gone astray, I can assure you that coupled with your death report from Congress’ approval of the use of lethal injection amid the service of the Tiramisu’ that at least one person is ready to give you the heave ho. (Right out back with the ever-so friendly Rotweiller that subsequently would’ve loved some of that roast beef you had balled up in your napkin that it saw you pitch into the wastebasket).

 

Dinner Etiquette can be surmised in one simple idea or gesture!  Don’t approach this gathering with the notion of just making it through, rather that you’ve actually eaten with civilized folk ‘for today and this ain’t your first rodeo…..

 

 

 

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Dinner Etiquette 101: (A Whodunnit)?”

  1. LMAO and by all means, do not wrap that roast up in the vintage cloth napkin inherited through the generations, so that not only is the dog devouring the trash, but a day later, your gf’s mom has to pull the remainder of said napkin from his behind when he goes out in the morning!

    just as in interviews, overselling yourself at you dinner will only come back to bite you in the ass later!

    🙂

  2. Duly noted, sweets!..LOL


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: