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The Infinite Possibilities in Life and Love

31 Days and 62 Reasons; Why you COULD leave your lover but choose to STAY…

After angrily or sadly packing for the last 3 hours, calling mom, your best friend and possibly an ex, you suddenly realize that maybe, just maybe you are making a mistake……….

Day1. You begin to realize that you’ve limited yourself to one person romantically and are starting to have doubts as to your future with them. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You are comfortable and leaving would create too much conflict in your already hectic schedule.
  2. The sex is quite possibly the most fulfilling that you’ve ever experienced.

Day 2. The little things they do are beginning to annoy you and holding your tongue is getting to be a chore. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. Because initially you expressed to them that you were not bothered by those same ‘said’ things and would feel a bit guilty in revealing your true opinion now.
  2. Your lover does possess some redeeming qualities that attracted you to them in the first place.

Day 3. You’re getting a little claustrophobic; you’re feeling smothered by the incessent texts and calls at work and simply feel like you need some space. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. The attention is gratifying and after a hard day, who doesn’t want to feel appreciated and loved?
  2. Some of the ‘actual’ calls or texts come at just the perfect time!

Day 4. Your parents downright just don’t like them! After you’ve tried and tried to convince mom and pop that your lover is not as bad as they think, you’re having little success in coercing them. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. Since when do we ever listen to Mom and Dad? The nature of children is to rebel against parental advice anyway so why stop now?
  2. You may be under the influence of all your partner’s  talk of a conspiracy theory against them. (BTW, no such thing!…friendly reminder)… 

Day5. They exhibit a lack of compassion or empathy. Either through your payroll check using auto – deductions or  just dropping a fiver in the collection box at the local supermarket, you find great joy in giving. Your other – half, on the other hand does not! But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You are a natural nurturer and feel like you can change them! Wouldn’t that be nice?
  2. Giving is a sort of pet – project that is all your own and you get enjoyment from that with or without their support.

 Day 6. Is anyone listening? You have made it obvious that you would like to be heard, but it seems like noone is interested in what you have to say. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. Your self – esteem is dwindling and you start to think that maybe what you have to say is trivial.
  2. Your friends are always willing to lend an ear to family drama. Filling them in provides a release for you.

Day 7. They never tell you that they love you; You pull and pry in an attempt to get them to say those magic words to no avail. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. At some point during your relationship they have said that they love you, so maybe in your mind, you’re overanalyzing…(yea, right)!
  2. You are numb and no longer need to hear those words of ultimate affection.

Day 8. It’s becoming more and more obvious that they’re cheating on you. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You have convinced yourself that they will magically stop as if they are concerned as to whether or not you are even privy to the deception.
  2. You have chosen to remain in denial due to your desire to be involved with someone.

Day 9: Don’t have children, don’t want any! You have given much consideration to the preparation of having kids but they are completely opposed. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. Maybe they will reconsider later.
  2. You are sacrificing one thing for another morally. You feel like this is something that you can manipulate into fruition.

Day 10. You’re growing apart! While you continue to strive, they have gotten a little too comfortable with their situation and you NEED more. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. A feeling of obligation. What will happen to them if you leave them now?
  2. It’s possible that you’re desire to achieve could inspire them.

Day 11. They are becoming boring. The things that used to impress you just don’t cut it anymore and they don’t seem as creative as you may have thought. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You feel sorry for them! Honestly, who else would want them and at least you are familiar with some of their  more exciting characteristics?!
  2. They are proving to be great providers for you and the family is enamored with their ‘sticktoitiveness’.

Day 12. Although they’re gaining ground in life, they’re also packin’ on a few extra lbs. You are in the awareness party but feel uncomfortable bringing up their weight. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You’ve had all the conversations about how this topic would never alter how you felt about them and now you’re having to stick your money where your mouth is.
  2. You’re genuinely in love and would like to see your lover win on ‘ The Biggest Loser’.

Day 13. Pornography! You’re starting to see their collection accumulate and it’s beginning to affect your love – making! But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You think it’s possible to please them by incorporating their fantasies into your bedroom.
  2. You start to think that maybe there’s something more that you can do to be more attractive to your partner.

Day 14. You no longer have much in common and it’s causing you to rethink things. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. Your thinking is that people change and you have no control over your circumstances.
  2. The fear of change has caused you to denounce some of your own interests.

Day 15. They have no respect for you. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You have never commanded respect in your life. You are satisfied with belonging to someone and see that as fulfilling.
  2. Being involved with someone that has no respect for you at least exonerates you from culpibility.

Day 16. The thrill is gone! You’re just not feeling them anymore. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You’re not quite certain how to start over with someone new.
  2. It would be more convenient to try again than to let go.

Day 17. Someone’s hygiene has gone to sh*t and everyone’s noticing!  But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You no longer feel the need to remind an adult of the importance of proper hygiene because you’ve had enough and you’re trying to find a way out anyway.
  2. They became defensive at the notion of taking better care of themselves and confrontation makes you uneasy.

Day 18. Though you’ve tried, there is absolutely no love lost with their parents. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You have the perception that you are not under the authority of their parents and that you have a mind of your own.
  2. This may be the only drawback to dating  their offspring and in that case, things could be worse.

Day 19. The physical attraction is beginning to lose altitude and they are no longer the subject of your undivided affection. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You have allowed yourself to find supplementing factors that renew some semblance of your original attraction.
  2. Looks aren’t everything to you. Besides, there are other reasons that admire them.

Day 20. The drinking game. The excessive partying has come to a climax and there seems to be no end in sight. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. Your opinion is that they are just reliving the college years and will come around sooner later.
  2. You’re an unconditional lover and it’s in your nature to overlook idiosyncrocies where love is concerned.

Day 21. You just don’t have the time anymore. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. They don’t have an obvious problem with your unavailibility, therefore you have entered into a relationship of convenience.
  2. You hang on to the notion of having more time some day and this concept satisfies you.

Day 22. The money is gone and this creates unrest in the folds. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. Your hope is that the financial climate will change and through the struggle, at least you still have each other.
  2. You have been through this before and are certain that things will get better.

Day 23. You’ve met someone, and they get you! ‘The work – wife/ husband’. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. Because now you have the best of both worlds and between them, you are holding steady.
  2. Although you are attracted to one another, you have morals and these prevent you from exploring the opportunity with them. You’re getting what you need, why push?

Day 24. They are not marriage material and it’s become ever – so apparent. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. Your back to your nature of thinking that you can change people.
  2. You begin to re – evaluate your own feelings regarding marriage.

Day 25. Whether it be money, sex or possibly both, it seems that all your lover is wanting from you is one of the 2 and you are starting to feel used. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. Apparently, your nurturing spirit has given way to gullability and you would rather create alibis for yourself as to the source of your naieve behavior rather than admit to the embarrassing loss of  self – respect.
  2. O.K. The sex is fantastic and you’re not short on funds, so why not? At least you feel that you are getting something out of it. Unfortunately, your esteem is taking a shot to the kidneys…

Day 26. They’re mean spirited and not just to you but to everyone and people are starting to suppose that you are their doppelganger. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You feel the psychologist in you nagging to investigate the source of their anguish.
  2. You just feel sorry for them at your own expense.

Day 27. They ramble incessently and gripe, complain and moan to no end. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. Though you are ready to implode at the sound of their voice, after calmly soothing them back to reality, you realize that they have a soft side; and you adore the internal gratification you receive from your efforts.
  2. They have come to rely on you for advice and motivation, and you have a hard time denying help to anyone.

Day 28. They use recreational drugs, you don’t and you are starting to become concerned as to their well – being. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. The abuse is unfortunate and depressing but if it’s one thing you’ve never done, it’s abandon someone in their time of need.
  2. Out of sight, out of mind! Knowing that you don’t use and that you are opposed to it, your lover  has probably become very astute at hiding this indiscretion from you and as so, you are willing to sweep it under the rug as well.

Day 29. Their lack of motivation is beginning to get under your skin. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. You’re a natural born motivator! Enough push and pull from you and anyone will get their sh^t together…..or get their sh^t and get out. Either way, you win!
  2. This is an opportunity to get more focused on yourself and your desires and dreams whether they are willing to tag along or not. Eventually you will reach the point of becoming numb to their lifelessness through your own personal resurgance.

Day 30. In perspective, the pros and cons of being involved with this person have begun to tip the scales so one – sidedly it’s painfully obvious that you should bail. But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. Love permitting, this thing will find it’s way back to the place that made it so enjoyable in the beginning.
  2. Some of the pros on your list are worth the sacrifices you’ve made to keep it in your panoramic view. The flip – side here is that you are sacrificing your integrity for the lesser – good.

Day 31. Wanderlust!!! Purely, plainly perpetuated and poignant wanderlust.  You are overcome with the idea to change and try something completely new and invigorating……somewhere else! But…

  • This is why you stay:
  1. The fear of trying something new is running concurrent and though you ache to venture out into the wild America’s, your practicality and prudent wit keep you grounded.
  2. Starting over or leaving it all behind is a major, life altering decision. How badly do you really want to scale the wall of the courtyard just to see what’s on the other side?

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